Domestic Abuse During Pregnancy: Recognising the Signs and Finding Support

Pregnancy should be a time of excitement and preparation for welcoming a new baby. Unfortunately, for many women, it can also be a time when domestic abuse begins or becomes more severe. 

Domestic abuse during pregnancy is more common than many people realise. It can have devastating effects on both the mother and unborn baby, yet many women feel unable to speak out because of fear, shame or concerns about what might happen if they do. 

At Non Violentiam, we support women across Birmingham who are experiencing domestic abuse, helping them rebuild their confidence, safety and independence. If you are pregnant and worried about your relationship, you are not alone, and support is available. 

Can Domestic Abuse Start During Pregnancy? 

Yes. 

Pregnancy is recognised as a time when domestic abuse may first begin or escalate. Some perpetrators become increasingly controlling as they feel their partner's attention shifts towards the baby, while others use pregnancy as another way to gain power and control. Health professionals are encouraged to be alert to this increased risk and offer support during antenatal care.  

Abuse is never caused by pregnancy. 

The responsibility always lies with the person choosing to abuse. 

What Does Domestic Abuse During Pregnancy Look Like? 

Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. 

Many women experience emotional, psychological, financial or coercive control long before physical violence occurs. 

Signs may include: 

• Constant criticism or humiliation  

• Controlling who you see or where you go  

• Monitoring your phone or social media  

• Preventing you from attending antenatal appointments  

• Controlling money or refusing access to finances  

• Threatening to take your baby away  

• Forcing or pressuring you into sex  

• Physical violence including pushing, hitting, strangulation or assaults directed at your stomach  

• Isolating you from family and friends  

• Making you feel frightened in your own home  

Even if your partner has never been physically violent before, controlling and coercive behaviour is still domestic abuse. 

Why Pregnancy Can Increase Risk 

Pregnancy brings significant emotional, physical and financial changes. 

For someone who uses control within a relationship, these changes can increase abusive behaviour. 

Some perpetrators may: 

• Become jealous of the unborn baby  

• Increase monitoring of their partner  

• Prevent access to healthcare  

• Use financial dependence as a form of control  

• Threaten violence if their partner leaves  

Many women also feel trapped because they worry about raising a child alone or fear that seeking help could lead to social services becoming involved. 

In reality, healthcare professionals want to help keep both mother and baby safe, not punish those experiencing abuse.  

How Domestic Abuse Can Affect Pregnancy 

Domestic abuse affects far more than emotional wellbeing. 

It can increase the risk of: 

• Anxiety and depression  

• High levels of stress  

• Sleep problems  

• Poor nutrition  

• Missed antenatal appointments  

• Miscarriage  

• Premature birth  

• Low birth weight  

• Physical injury to mother and baby  

The emotional impact can continue long after birth, affecting bonding, confidence and mental health. 

Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore 

Seek help if your partner: 

• Has become more controlling since you became pregnant  

• Prevents you from seeing healthcare professionals alone  

• Frequently threatens you  

• Has hurt you physically in any way  

• Damages property during arguments  

• Controls your access to money  

• Makes you feel constantly afraid  

• Threatens to harm your baby or unborn child  

You do not have to wait until abuse becomes physical to ask for help. 

What If You Tell Your Midwife? 

Many women worry about speaking honestly during pregnancy. 

Midwives, GPs and healthcare professionals regularly support women experiencing domestic abuse. 

If you tell your midwife: 

• They will listen without judgement.  

• They can help create a safety plan.  

• They can refer you to specialist domestic abuse services.  

• They will discuss safeguarding where appropriate to help protect you and your baby.  

Healthcare professionals often ask about relationships during appointments because pregnancy is recognised as an important opportunity to identify and respond to domestic abuse.  

Creating a Safety Plan During Pregnancy 

If leaving immediately is not possible, there are still steps you can take to improve your safety. 

Consider: 

• Keeping important documents somewhere safe  

• Having emergency phone numbers available  

• Packing a small emergency bag if safe to do so  

• Identifying trusted friends or family members  

• Agreeing a code word with someone you trust  

• Keeping your phone charged whenever possible  

• Speaking privately to your midwife or GP  

Every situation is different. 

A personalised safety plan can help reduce risk while you consider your options. 

You Are Not Alone 

One of the most damaging effects of domestic abuse is isolation. 

Many women believe: 

• "It isn't bad enough."  

• "It will stop when the baby arrives."  

• "It's my fault."  

• "I don't want to break up my family."  

None of these are true. 

Abuse often becomes more severe over time if nothing changes, and everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home. The NHS advises that abuse often starts or worsens during pregnancy and encourages anyone affected to seek help rather than wait for an emergency.  

How Non Violentiam Can Help 

At Non Violentiam, we understand that leaving an abusive relationship is rarely straightforward, especially during pregnancy. 

Our experienced team provides compassionate, trauma-informed support for women experiencing domestic abuse. 

We can help with: 

• Emotional support  

• Safety planning  

• Housing guidance  

• Practical support  

• Advocacy  

• Signposting to specialist services  

• Ongoing recovery support  

Whether you are ready to leave or simply want someone to talk to, we are here to listen without judgement. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is domestic abuse more common during pregnancy? 

Pregnancy is recognised as a period when domestic abuse may begin or become more severe. Healthcare professionals are encouraged to ask about abuse during antenatal appointments because early support can improve outcomes for both mother and baby.  

Will my baby be taken away if I tell someone? 

Not simply because you disclose abuse. Professionals aim to keep mothers and babies safe by providing support, assessing risks and working with families wherever possible.  

Can emotional abuse harm my pregnancy? 

Yes. Long-term stress, fear and coercive control can affect both physical and emotional health during pregnancy, even if there has been no physical violence.  

Who should I tell first? 

You can speak to your midwife, GP, health visitor or a specialist domestic abuse service. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.  

You Deserve a Safe Pregnancy 

Every woman deserves to experience pregnancy without fear, intimidation or abuse. 

If you are experiencing domestic abuse during pregnancy, know that help is available. You are not alone, and there are people who will believe you, support you and help you build a safer future for both you and your baby. 

Non Violentiam is here to support women across Birmingham with confidential, compassionate services designed to help you take the next step—whenever you are ready.