Coercive Control: The Hidden Form of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is often associated with physical violence, but many survivors experience a different form of abuse that can be just as damaging. Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour designed to dominate, isolate and control another person. It can gradually erode confidence, independence and a person's sense of self, leaving them feeling trapped and powerless.

Understanding coercive control is an important step in recognising abuse and helping those affected access the support they need.

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse that involves a pattern of controlling, manipulative and intimidating behaviour. Rather than a single incident, it is often a series of actions used to gain power over another person. The aim is to make the victim dependent, isolated and easier to control. SafeLives describes coercive control as a range of behaviours that allow someone to gain or maintain control over a partner, former partner or family member.

In the UK, coercive and controlling behaviour is recognised as a criminal offence because of the significant harm it causes to victims and survivors.

Signs of Coercive Control

Coercive control can be difficult to recognise because it often develops gradually. Common warning signs include:

• Being isolated from friends, family or support networks.

• Having finances controlled or restricted.

• Constant criticism, humiliation or belittling comments.

• Monitoring phone calls, messages, emails or social media activity.

• Being told what to wear, where to go or who to speak to.

• Threats involving children, pets or loved ones.

• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness.

• Being made to account for every minute of the day.

• Feeling afraid of how a partner may react to everyday decisions.

Many survivors describe feeling as though they have lost control over their own lives and decision-making.

The Impact of Coercive Control

Unlike physical injuries, the effects of coercive control are often invisible. However, the emotional and psychological impact can be profound.

Victims may experience:

• Anxiety and depression.

• Loss of self-confidence.

• Social isolation.

• Difficulty trusting others.

• Financial hardship.

• Feelings of fear and helplessness.

• Post-traumatic stress symptoms.

Over time, coercive control can affect every aspect of a person's life, including their mental health, employment, relationships and ability to parent effectively.

Coercive Control After Separation

Many people assume abuse ends when a relationship ends. Unfortunately, coercive control can continue long after separation.

This may include:

• Repeated unwanted contact.

• Harassment or stalking.

• Manipulation through child contact arrangements.

• Financial abuse.

• Threats and intimidation.

For some survivors, leaving an abusive relationship can increase the risk of further controlling behaviour. This is why specialist support is so important during and after separation.

How to Support Someone Experiencing Coercive Control

If you are concerned about a friend, family member or colleague, it is important to approach them with empathy and without judgement.

You can help by:

• Listening without interrupting.

• Believing what they tell you.

• Avoiding pressure or ultimatums.

• Helping them access specialist support services.

• Encouraging them to think about their safety.

Remember, leaving an abusive relationship can be a complex and dangerous process. Support should always focus on the survivor's choices and safety.

Where to Get Help if You Are Experiencing Coercive Control

If you believe you are experiencing coercive control, it is important to know that support is available. You do not have to face abuse alone.

Speaking to a trusted friend, family member, healthcare professional, social worker or domestic abuse specialist can be the first step towards safety and recovery.

At Non Violentiam CIC, we provide safe, secure supported accommodation and tailored support for women fleeing domestic abuse, including pregnant women, mothers with children and vulnerable adults. Our team works alongside residents to help them rebuild confidence, independence and stability in a safe environment.

You may also wish to contact other specialist domestic abuse organisations that can offer advice, accommodation, advocacy, counselling and ongoing support. Many charities and support services can help with safety planning, emergency accommodation, legal advice and emotional support.

Reaching out for help can feel overwhelming, but taking that first step can connect you with people who understand your situation and can help you explore your options safely and confidentially.

If you are in immediate danger, always call 999.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is coercive control a criminal offence in the UK?

Yes. Coercive and controlling behaviour within an intimate or family relationship is a criminal offence in England and Wales and can result in imprisonment, fines or both.

Can coercive control happen without physical violence?

Yes. Many victims experience coercive control without ever experiencing physical abuse. Domestic abuse is not always physical and can include emotional, psychological, financial and controlling behaviours.

Can coercive control continue after a relationship ends?

Yes. Abuse can continue after separation through stalking, harassment, financial abuse, child-contact manipulation and other controlling behaviours.

What should I do if I think someone is experiencing coercive control?

Talk to them privately, listen without judgement, reassure them that support is available and encourage them to contact specialist domestic abuse services.

Need Support?

If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control or any form of domestic abuse, Non Violentiam may be able to help.

Contact Non Violentiam

• Telephone: 0121 515 5947

• Email: referrals@nonviolentiam.org

• Self-referrals and professional referrals welcome

Learn more about our supported accommodation and referral process:

• Non Violentiam Supported Housing Services

• How to Apply for Accommodation

Safe Space Saves Lives.